what do i do with my time, fran?
i wonder this too.
since i've been back "home", i've found myself terribly distracted. before i got back here i had a plan.
a plan to accomplish things. to be creative. to do fulfilling, beautiful things.
read a lot
listen to great music.
improve my own limited abilities...
the list goes on.
you know, learn to build bicycles.
oh but motivation!!
however, since i've been back here i feel that i've accomplished little. well, not little. i've found two jobs, possibly three, have almost entirely repaid my debt... i've met some lovely folks in town..
i suppose it hasn't been a bumming, waste of time. but the things that i value and care for have been hiding from me.
crawling into my room at night after three double shifts in a row, i check my email and collapse. book falling off my belly softened by too many beers. in the morning i wake earlier than i need to, or right on time, and feel hungover. even if i haven't had anything to drink. my eyes heavy, my hair full and wild. im in need of a shower, but have no desire to make that effort.
so on with a splash of lavender oil, and down the stairs to make juice.
(sound like a dirty hippie, eh?)
JUICE!
i've always loved fresh veggie juice, but i had always the strange concept that it was too much effort.
now, what i've come to realize, as i've been researching the life of raw and fermented foods and general health, is that it's really, easy as pie..or juice. (if you have the ingredients).
twice a week here in town there is a farmers market. one in the town square right outside of the market where i work making the pizza's, and another in deering oaks park, right outside of the downtown. lots of trees, shakespeare in the park, a duck pond, etc. happy, buzzing life. buskers with fiddles, banjos, dirty pants and scruffy hair.
i like to buy heaps of chard and carrots and all sorts of yummy things from these stands. there's a great place that has homemade cheeses and yogurts. another with tempeh, and a guy that has raw honey and homemade kimchi.
i've been making this great juice. i started drinking it regularly in the morning when i was visiting in corvallis, oregon.
a nice bunch of rainbow chard, some carrots, ginger, an apple or pear, maybe a radish and a pinch of parsley. and if i'm feeling adventurous i may throw in a few blueberries and flax seeds.
i've almost completely lost desire for coffee in the morning when i drink this wonderful juice. it makes me feel incredibly good.
and helps with the regularity of the digestion! hehe. good stuff!
i may have some almond butter toast a bit after that and then bicycle myself to work.
it's about a 15 minute bike ride into the end of town where i need to be. it would be much shorter if it wasn't for the big and gradual hill that is surrounding the entirety of Portland.
my folks live in a three story, oldish house in a quiet little suburb about a mile out of town. pretty little place with trees and a small yard. a porch and back deck.
i'm hoping to find a place in town though.
i like the idea of living in one of the busy yet peaceful neighborhoods 5 minutes from the town sized city.
all the old new england architecture. it's really a very attractive town.
I want to sit on my porch, or stoop in the mornings, drinking juice or coffee and doing the crossword. watching the morning go by. the elderly folks walking their dogs, the young folks swiftly cycling by.. maybe morning musics drifting from open windows. and the smell of changing seasons.
fresh, new beginnings.
everyday is a new beginning. i want to remember that.
i get discouraged, and i beat myself up about my lack of progress.. or my laziness, or feeling of being overwhelmed.
but every morning is fresh. cells in my very body are different.
if i approach each day without the baggage that tends to weigh one down by the wrists, than i believe i'll be able to find the nurturing paths i desire.
i'll start by washing my socks.
